Yesterday Ben and I hiked Puzzle Mountain over in Grafton Notch. I had so much fun. I had so much energy too! I was in a pretty good mood the whole day, even after eating the gross ham and cheese sandwich I picked up for lunch. I ate it and didn't feel anything afterwards. Then when we got home, it started to hit me how disgusted I felt. I thought I was doing so well with eating and then the ham and cheese threw me all off. It began all the thoughts of how gross I'd felt all weekend. It was like the weekend came and I lost control of everything. Last night I was feeling so many different emotions at once, but the biggest one was that I just felt like a complete and total failure.
I don't think it helped that I was talking to a possible roommate for Utica next year, last night as well. It made me really nervous and sad and anxious about school this fall. I told Ben I didn't want to go.