Friday, June 29, 2012

Seven things {you didn't know}

Ali over at Every Bite Counts nominated me for the versatile blogger award and LifeLaughFood nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award this week so I am very happy and feel loved! These ladies are amazing and I'm so thankful they thought of me for these! things about me that you didn't already know. Hmmm...

1. I do not enjoy the sound of guitar. Ben is going to hate me for this but when he is playing a song or just practicing, I can only take so much before I have to tell him to stop. I hate being mean about it, but my little ears cannot take the noise that it produces. Weird.

2. I give good advice. But I can't take it. It's easy for me to give out advice and hope to others, but when it comes to myself, well I pretty much suck at it. I have a hard time being "easy" on myself and find that taking my own advice is a struggle that makes me feel weak and un-perfect.

3. I love cuts, scraps, scars or anything that looks "nasty". I don't know why I like these but every time I end up with one, I admire it and show it to Ben, "Look! Isn't this awesome!?" haha I'm so freakin' weird.

4. I like to compete. I usually make everything I do a competition, especially if I am with someone else, like when I'm at the gym, I need to feel like I'm lifting heavy enough to compete with the other people in there. I talked about this before kinda, about how I am constantly either winning or losing, and mostly it's with Ben. I like to feel "better" than him which is just plain awful to be honest. It's not something I'm proud of obviously.

5. I struggle with social anxiety. Actually, my biggest regret in life was when I didn't go to Ben's graduation party because I was too scared. Yep, I'm pathetic. I sat in his room all day because my anxiety was out of control. I couldn't dare face all of the people that were there. I'm still embarrassed by it to this day.

6. My dream involves cupcakes. I want to open a {healthy}cupcake bakery mixed with an art gallery one day. It's a long road to get to but it's my dream job so I'll make it happen one way or the other! 

7. I'm a quote hog. I have close to 100 pages of quotes stored on my computer and it gets longer every day. I am in love with inspiring quotes and sayings and never want to forget them so I write them all down! It's nice to go back and look them over on days when I need some extra positive help. 

And my nominees are...

Cara @ Inspiring, Creating, Changing

Haley @ Health Freak College Girl

Alexandra @The Freckled Lifter

Jenny @ Peanut Butter and Jenny

Shannon @ Healthiful Balance

Tessa @ Amazing Asset

Kat @ A dash of Fairy Dust

Cheryl @ Happy is the New Healthy

Tara @ Sweat Like A Pig

Naomi @ One Fit Foodie

CJ @ Healthy, Happy, Whole

Kaila @ Healthy Helper

These are some very lovely gals so make sure you check them out!!

Hope you're all having an amazing Friday, I couldn't be more happy <3

Kip Moore-Drive Me Crazy

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

wiaw # 15 {food and thoughts}

Happy Wednesday loves..I have the day off today and what better way to spent it but with my Momma! I haven't seen her is a while so I'm pretty happy.

A few updates before showing you my eats...

1. I had an awesome leg workout yesterday with Ben. I squatted 80lbs and leg pressed 140lbs which is good for me at the moment..I could probably add more on both though as I wasn't completely fatigued afterward. The other awesome part of the workout was the fact that the gym was PACKED and I actually didn't care! I was so freakin' proud of myself. Woot!

2.  I'm not sure if it's just Ed rearing his ugly head more these days or if I've really gained weight. Maybe I'm just noticing my body more? I don't know. But whatever it is, I hope it's temporary and that I start feeling better about my body. It seems as though my eyes are focusing on my arms and hips lately. They are in the spotlight and I hate it. It's driving me bonkers. I just want to be okay for once. Is that too much to ask? I think I've struggled with Ed so long that his views have become so engraved and I can't get rid of them. I see my arms growing and all I see is fat, when I should really be focusing on how muscular and strong they are becoming. What is wrong with me? Can't I see that Ed is just trying to sabotage my efforts and bring me down? Garg. 

3. Ben took me shopping this past weekend and bought me a pretty outfit. By the way, it was his idea, not mine. He was complaining that I never wear anything nice just always shorts and a huge t-shirt. He wanted me to get a dress or something so this is what he picked out (at Maurices)...

It took us forever to agree on something because I just couldn't figure out where I'd wear this but it's cute and maybe we'll go out for dinner or something who knows. I like the way it looks on so that's a plus!

Now on to what I ate...thanks to Jenn as always...

Recent Snack: Sally's Smart almonds! These are the bomb! 
Like seriously so good and I love that nothing else is added in terms of sugars or anything!

Recent Snack: I made a new thing...PB2 mixed with coconut butter (Kevala to be exact!) and enough water to make it thick (not watery), and then you add granola on top! I was in was like cookie dough but better haha!

Recent Lunch: black grapes with chicken stripes and mustard! Mmmm yums :)

Recent Lunch: P28 protein bagel with grapes and Ostrich/Beef jerkee strip! <--my favorite thing ever invented!!

Recent Breakfast: Chobany peach yogurt topped with Jessica's granola!

Recent Snack: Biena chickpeas...these things are awesome! I tried the sea salt kind but they have cinnamon maple and chili lime! I'll be trying those very soon.

No dinners? Haha, I guess I failed on snapping pictures, oh wells. Most consisted of squash and chicken sausage though!

And just some positive articles I found...

The Body Love Pledge: I loved reading helped me really think about my body and realize that I must love myself for me and stop trying to be someone else or want to look different. 

10 Pounds by Happy is the new Healthy...this basically made my day when I read it because I was in such a need of some body love. She is so amazing, I always love reading her posts!

The Sexiest Women is the World: a great article about what a true sexy women looks like. 

How to Overcome an Eating Disorder by Lindsay's List: this is such an inspiring and informative post. It helped me a lot, especially the tip about speaking your actions. Definitely a must read.  

LEARN to love yourself: another awesome article about loving yourself! I love reading these types of things as you can see.

Nothin' Wrong with You Baby: I loved reading this! Inspiration times 100! Another must read. 

Go Kaleo: this blog is AMAZING! Like her on facebook too for more inspiration. She's so real, it's refreshing. 

Have a good week <3

Monday, June 25, 2012

Going for the Goal #2 {Goal Update)

Two weeks ago I posted about my goals for this summer and they were:

-workout at the gym
-wear tank tops more
-up my calories

A little update on how I am doing with these:

-working out at the gym: WIN! I am doing this almost every day! Woot, I'm so proud of myself. The first day was hard because Ben and I decided to go on a day where it was crazy packed and I although I did do some legs, I got too overwhelmed and ended up running instead.
I've been going in the morning before work which has worked out nicely because most of the time, there are only older guys there or if I really get lucky, there is no one!! I get really excited when I'm the only one because then I can do whatever I want and not worry about who's there.
I think the biggest thing is just to try to block out everything else around me and just focus on what I need to do and what exercises I want to do instead of trying to read people's mind and figure out f they're looking at me or not.

-wearing tank tops more: semi-WIN...I wore one on the last two hikes that Ben and I did. It was super hot out so I just put one on and didn't care. It was kind of uncomfortable for me just because I wasn't used to it, but nothing great happens when you stay inside your comfort zone! Must remember that one.

-upping my calories: FAIL. Big time fail. I think I lowered them. With work now, I tend to not eat as much during the day, which was my other goal blarrr. I hate eating a ton at night so I end up with not enough to eat all day. In the morning I try to have a bigger breakfast but then I freak out and slack on lunch. Oh god, please help me haha! I'm laughing now, but really, I need to figure out how I can add in more during the day without having a complete melt down. Calories still scare the shit out of me and they really shouldn't...I mean they're just energy. Energy that is going to fuel me through the day and my workouts. I must up my energy then.

New goals for this week only:

-Prepare more balances meals: I can't remember the last lunch or dinner I had that was actually "real". I am pretty much living at Ben's mom's house and they eat a lot differently than me, so it's hard to eat the same foods. I usually bring my own stuff but I haven't been going home as often in order to prepare meals for myself. I want to do this again so that I can have more chicken and steak and such and feel like I'm being somewhat healthier.

-Eat more during the day and less at night: I've said this a million times, but I tend to eat less during the day and then freak out because I didn't get in enough calories so I stuff myself at night. I hate doing this and feel gross, so I have an idea! Don't do it! It's simple, really, just consume more energy when I actually need it and stop eating at night. Grrr.

-Figure out the car deal: Ben and I's car is sadly on it's last leg...okay, it has been for quite some time now. It won't pass inspection and I just don't feel like throwing money into such an old car is worth it. I'd so much rather go searching for something newer, but Ben isn't so sure what to do. I'm getting kind of frustrated with the whole deal, so I just want to make a decision and stick with it. Either search for a new car or fix this piece of junk.

Alright, that's good for this week! We'll see how I do<3

Also, thanks to Jenny at Peanut Butter and Jenny for putting this together!!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Boston Buys {and thoughts}

I know you all missed me yesterday (yeah right), but I was busy in Boston having too much fun in the ninety six degree heat. 

I had to make a trip to Mass General for that study thing I'm doing and my friend happened to have the day off so she came with me. 

The appointment was at ten so we left my house around seven thirty. The traffic was sickening but we made it and managed to be somewhat on time. 

After the appointment was over, we headed to Whole Foods to get some goodies and a small lunch (you'll find out why in a sec!)

Items I bought at Whole Foods:

In the mix: spinach, corn, peppers, cucumbers and feta cheese. 

After Whole Foods we put our stuff in the car and drove to.....ZINGA! A new frozen yogurt place I just found! 

The GPS said it took five minutes from the hospital but it took us about thirty. I'm a good driver I swear, but it was hot and the traffic was bad and that darn GPS sucks balls. Sorry but I like maps better!

Anyhoo, we parked and walked to find change and nobody would give us change for a five...what the hell? 

We ended up walking around for like thirty minutes just trying to pay that damn meter thingy. Finally we made it to Zinga! 

It was so overwhelming! I was so happy haha...this was the first self serve place I've been to and it was more than amazing! 

This is what I ended up getting:

In the mix: watermelon, salted caramel pretzel, New York cheese cake, and dark chocolate frozen yogurt topped with weird yellow ball things, cookie dough bites, chocolate chips, sprinkles and a cherry on top!

I have to admit, it was pretty difficult to eat this...Ed was definitely screaming as loud as he could in my ear that every bite was just making me fatter and fatter. But I ate all of it and I LIVED! Can you believe it? I didn't die from eating this once-in-a-blue-moon-treat! Woot. 

After our wonderful date with Zinga (I love this name because it reminds me of Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory when he says Bazinga!), we headed to Newbury Street to check out the new Georgetown Cupcakes!!

It was so cool! I didn't end up getting anything but Nicole got some and they looked amazing :)

We walked around Newbury Street a bit and wondered into H&M for a sec but that was a bad idea for me. I hate going into those types of stores because I just feel like I don't belong...there are so many other girls who are prettier and so many damn mirrors, it's depressing...

It was an interesting day to say the least, I tried my best to stay calm and relaxed but I constantly found myself comparing my body everywhere I went. I wore jean shorts for the first time and all I could think about was what people were thinking of me...

"oh my god, look at her thighs, they're huge!"
"that girls arms are so big, gross."

I know it's just Ed being mean, but that's about how my whole day went...a constant battle with Ed about how I looked compared to the other girls walking around. 

I still have a weird pull towards wanting to look scary skinny and unnatural...although when I see someone who looks really good and healthy I like that, but for me? Nope. Ed still has a grip on my mind, telling me that looking sick is the way to go...I gotta change that soon.
A good song I just found thanks to Nicole and her mix CD!

Skin and Bones-Romance on a Rocketship

Have an awesome Thursday! Stay cool <3

Monday, June 18, 2012

Awesome Foods {and} Lobster Legs

A couple of months ago I received a package in the mail from Enjoy Life Foods...this is what it contained...

Mega Chunks and Double Chocolate Crunch Granola

How awesome is that? I mean, chocolate granola! If you love chocolate like me, you'd be just as excited! I put off trying everything in an attempt to save all the goodness, but the chunks were gone only a week after I opened them. 

I put them in my night time snack every day, mixed with yogurt and chia seeds, they were wonderful. My mom also had a couple handfuls when I wasn't looking haha!

Just this past week I finally opened the granola. I'm not the biggest granola fan but after eating some this amazingness, I am hooked! 

Again, I added it to my yogurt and it was heavenly. I also tried some just plain and it was've.ever.had! You can't go wrong when you add chocolate to'll always be awesome!

I love this company because they just have such a variety of products and they're gluten free. They chocolate chunks that I tried were dairy, nut and soy free which is sweet! The granola is vegan and kosher and is packed with vitamins too!! 

If you check out their website you can find tons of recipes featuring all of their products!


Another awesome company that I love is Raw One...they sent me samples of their flax crackers, biscottis, and their grawnola!

The flax crackers are amazing! I'm not joking, they were so great...really light and full of flavor and perfect in yogurt or by themselves! 

I tried one of the biscottis and loved it too! I had it along with my breakfast..yum! I'm trying to save them because they were so good. 

I actually have yet to try the grawnola but I'm guessing it's amazing too!

You should really check out their website for flavors and stuff, plus they are such a great company. I love their passions: 

  • Delivering nutrition through culinary excellence
  • Promoting optimal health and well-being
  • Community outreach and involvement
  • Sharing of information
  • Love for the sake of loving
They explain more about why raw foods are so good for you which I love because I like knowing how my food is helping my body!

Check them out here!


On a completely unrelated note, I went to kayaking with my Dad yesterday for Father's Day and got burnt to a legs and arms are still burning...wah!

I had a good time though which was nice...I wrote a post on the Libero Network about me and my Dad if you wanna check it out!
I'll leave you with my favorite song at the moment!

Zac Brown Band-Jolene

Friday, June 15, 2012

I love...

Friday, oh it's so good to see you again! I can't wait until you are over and it's Saturday haha! 

I love...

1) That I never win any of the giveaways I enter. Damn I wanted to win that PB Crave.Wah. 

2) This song...

3) My workout I did yesterday...

5 min walking at 3.5
1 min jog at 5
1 min jog at 6
2 min jog at 6.5
1 min jog at 6
2 min run at 7
2 min run at 7.5
1 min jog at 6.5
1 min job at 6
1 min walk at 4
2 min run at 8
2 min run at 7.5
1 min run at 8.5
2 min jog at 6
2 min walk at 4
1 min jog at 6.5
2 min run at 8
1 min walk at 3

4) That I signed up for this race spur of the is calling my name. 

5) That Pinterest is wonderful...

Am I mean 'cause I love the middle one? Haha!

Things that make being healthy amazing...

1) That I can sign up for a 3.1 mil obstacle race and have my mom actually be happy for me instead of worrying I'll faint. 

2) Being able to actually have energy, instead of not doing anything because of the serious lack of motivation and any sort of energy from not having food. 

3) Having my mom be okay about me going to the gym, instead of her freaking out every time I mention it.

4) Being able to talk back and disobey Ed, instead of letting him do all the controlling just because I literally had no energy to even try to fight him. 

5) Being able to hike and run and bike and laugh and do everything I want to without having to worry about not having enough energy or worrying that others are thinking I'm going to die.  

Being healthy is should try it<3 

Have an awesome Friday peeps :)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

WIAW {photo dump}

Another Wednesday can only mean one thing...WIAW! 

Jenn is amazing for always putting this together each week, let's give her a round of applause! 

For this week's post, I couldn't decide on what day to use because I had so many new and exciting foods so I just dumped everything on you..have fun :)

This weekend was so awesome, and by far the best yet! Ben and I took a nice 8 mile hike on Saturday and then on Sunday we headed to Portland to see some up and coming country artists preform. 

Bucky Covington!

The Lost Trailers!
It was super fun! 

I took Ben to Whole Foods for lunch and this is what his face looked like when we walked in...

Haha...he was so overwhelmed with happiness. It took us forever to decide what to have for lunch but he ended up getting a burrito to order and I got a salad with salmon and turkey. Sorry for the lack of photos...I didn't want to seem like a complete weirdo taking pictures of my food haha. I was so happy that Ben liked Whole Foods, now he knows why I love it so much :)

Nutella frozen yogurt with raspberries!! I found GoBerry in Portland, ME and was ecstatic, so obviously I had to get some! So good.  

A new bar for kids from Organic Food Bar! Kind of tasted like one of those crunch chocolate candies! Yum. 

Sunday night's dinner consisted of a gluten free pizza and kobucha squash with ketchup. I could eat this combo for the rest of my life. Seriously. 

I got some samples in the mail from Bran Crispbread and tried some with my lunch while at work. It's not the best tasting on it's own but with some of this chocolate spread it was pretty good! And I just got my day's worth of fiber too. Woot, go me. 

I always get depressed when I remember that I can't buy starbucks everyday or I would be poor as hell, so I decided to make my own rendition of their frapps...I used coffee, ice cubes, matcha green tea, and stevia and mixed it in my magic bullet and tossed some whipped cream on top for a nice little drink. Not as good as starbucks but no money was spent, so score!

A couple weeks back I recieved some coupons from Laura's Lean Beef and just found their products at shaws! 

I naturally made hamburgers because I'm boring like that!

I added these spicy ingredients which I got in my last foodie penpal package to make it more interesting! A good idea because they were so good :)

A pre-made lunch for work consisting of spinach, cottage cheese and grilled turkey which you can barley see. It wasn't too bad...needed some salt though. 

Picked this lovely stuff up yesterday...I love peanut butter but I love almond butter more and crunchy is the best! Mmm good. 

My mom and I decided to go out on a limb and get these banana babies just for fun! I tired one for a night snack last night and it was pretty good! I wish the banana was coconut though, that would be like the best ever! Haha. 

A snack of incan berries! Love these little tart yet so sweet. 

I just had to get these yesterday too because one, I love carob chips and two, it's been way too long since I've had them. Like too long. 

My dinner on Saturday. A salad with yellow peppers, loads of green peas and one of the laura's burgers I made, topped with ketchup! Ahhhh yum. 

A snack to go with dinner...fresh blueberries, strawberries, with raspberries and grapes (unpictured)! I love fruit so much. 

Lunch at work on Monday...I had cottage cheese with a shit ton of fruit and then decided to add in some rice protein powder which made like a paste and it was the best thing ever! I can't even explain how good it was!

Yesterday's dinner with Mom. Kashi pizza....a fear food no longer! Woot. 

And finally...ZEVIA! I have been dying to try this stuff and came home to a nice little surprise package form the company...a pack of one of each flavor. I opened the grapefruit citrus right away and I loved it so much!! I can't wait to have more already haha!

Wow. That was a lot of food. I ate a lot this week haha! 

What good things did you have recently? Have you tired Zevia?

Take care loves<3