Monday, May 2, 2011
The other day in the car I had a breakdown and cried to Ben about how I would love myself if I could actually find something about myself that I at least liked. He said something that made me think a lot. He said that he thought I really did love my true self, the self that I am when I'm alone, the self I am when I'm being silly and crazy with him, the self that I am when I'm at home doing art or writing, the person I am on the inside. But I don't like the person I pretend to be, the self I let others see, the self I am when I'm around other people, the self I am in social situations. This is so true and I never really thought about it in terms like that. I always thought that these two different persons were me and how could I ever love myself if I hated half of me? But then when he said this, I realized that I'm two different people and I truly love the real me.