i must give up the need to be better than other people. just because someone next to me at the gym can run five miles when i can only run two doesn't mean they're better. it's stupid. it doesn't make you better if i'm skinnier than someone else or if you're hair is shinier, or if you can talk your brains out. first off, i must believe that i am neither above nor beneath anyone, because it's true, we're all equal. yes, we all have different strengths and weaknesses but this is what makes us, US! i must figure out what i love about myself (and it can't be about food, weight or bones) and cling to that strength for my life, because it will save me.
i walked through wal-mart yesterday in a slow and calm state, not worrying about what other people were thinking, not worrying about seeing someone i knew, etc. i just slowed down and calmly got what i needed and left. it wasn't that hard but i did have to constantly remind myself to take a deep breath and walk slower.
i hate the feeling of being sweaty, like in the way that you feel absolutely gross and dirty. i don't mind it if i'm working hard for something, like hiking or the like, but just being sweaty from the heat sucks ass. i think the worst feeling is having your pants stick to your legs and your hair matted to the back of your neck. disgusting.