She'll Be Free

lately, i've been trying to teach myself how to relax and to really take in the world around me. i am so quick to rush through things like walking or looking at scenery that i don't even get to enjoy the beauty of it all. i'm trying to slow myself down and not to rush so much. i think that partially the reason this could be is that i'm impatient...i let ed rule me and he says that i must keep moving, that if i stop and go slow i will gain weight. it's a weird way of looking at it but i think it makes sense. i feel lazy when i'm not moving fast enough. i feel lazy when i hike to the top of a mountain and sit to take a rest...ed is telling me to keep moving, don't sit down for long or you'll get fat, you're lazy if you don't get going. i am working on challenging those voices and allowing myself to relax and calm down.