Monday, May 2, 2011

This morning I felt oddly annoyed. I get into certain moods where everything annoys me and I just don't feel like saying or doing anything. Almost like I'm lost, I don't know where I am. Sometimes I get a foggy feeling in my brain, like on Saturday when we went to Roy's and golfing. I have observed why this happens and have concluded it's due to the fact that I try too hard to be someone else when there are a lot of people around. My brain overworks itself by thinking about what everybody is thinking of me, if they're thinking I look stupid or fat or whatever, or thinking too much about not being rude, holding the door for others, making sure I'm always doing the right thing at the right time. This makes me feel "ahhhhhhhhhh". That's all I can say about how it makes me feel.
When I went for my walk earlier I was feeling strangely hopeful about everything. I felt like today was a new start and that I could do this. Fight this. 

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