Tuesday, May 24, 2011

i'm trying not to be annoyed by this day. i have been running (driving really) back and forth to take care of dogs and picking mom up and so on and i'm trying my best to stay calm and be relaxed. it's all too easy to get upset and freak out over little things. it's just not worth it. sitting down and all this driving is killing me but trying to realize that it's okay and that it's not going to kill me is helping.

i had this odd thought the other day when talking with my mom. she was talking about the start of her relationship with her boyfriend, saying how it seemed so perfect and romantic but now (several months in) it seems dull and confusing. i thought about how this happened to me when i first starting dating ben. it's funny how everything starts out all romantic and charming and then after the third month or so there's not as many of those sweet moments. maybe you got so used to them making you feel so amazing, now that they've stopped, you feel let down in someway, or maybe those moments are still there just like the start but you don't realize them in the same way as you used to. they become regular and something you forget to recognize. or maybe the overly loving actions really have become less frequent because at the beginning of the relationship, they were afraid they'd lose you and now that they feel secure, they don't feel as thought they have to keep up all the over-the-top moments. nothings right or wrong, i'm just rattling.

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