Wednesday, September 7, 2011

how can i go from somewhat loving my body (last week) to somewhat hating it (this week)? i just don't get it. i feel completely and utterly gross and feel like i've gained weight. is ed just tricking me or is it true? i feel like every time i look in the mirror all i see is the fat on my hips and how big they look when i lean back and the fat on my legs and arms and stomach. i hate it. all i see is fat. this is not normal. right? i don't know what to do because right now i really am just forcing myself to eat because all the thoughts and behaviors are coming back...

i'm trying to remind myself that going back to behaviors is not at all going to help me and that it's not healthy...that actually not eating will harm me greater than just eating regularly...i don't know. blah.

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