Friday, April 13, 2012

.sensitive and strong.

Hello loves, 
It's Friday. Woot. Can you tell I'm not excited? I get excited for Sundays now...Friday's have lost their magical effect for me due to work and such. 

Anyhoo, I really don't know what to write about today...kinda going blank. I do have some accomplishments that I'm proud of from the past week though and some new things I want to work on, so I guess I'll share these.

I'm proud of myself for:

  • Somehow making it through Sunday brunch at the Cafe without completely dying. 
  • Taking a much needed rest day even though it was super duper crazy difficult to do.
  • Going for a bike ride with my mom on Tuesday and not freaking out about having to go a certain distance or speed or whatever. I just relaxed and took in the views.
  • Not letting my stomach issues (bloating, etc) effect my eating. I knew it wouldn't last forever...and guess what? they didn't!
  • Sitting through uncomfortable feelings and talking back to Ed. 
  • Not having a single piece of gum for two weeks! Go me :)
  • Cutting back on the amount of time spent on "body checking". This is HUGE.
I think I've made some great progress this past week. It's getting easier to feel uncomfortable and yet still push forward, which I know is what will get me to the point where I can be completely free. 

Some of my recent goals I have, include:
  • Drinking epic amounts of water. I tend to get dehydrated often and this is no fun. Water will also help my muscles repair themselves better which is awesome!
  • Consuming more calories during the day time instead of at night. I try to "save" calories throughout the day and then freak out when it's night time and I still have over 1000 to go. I hate the feeling like I'm "binging" so eating more during the day, when my body really needs the calories, will hopefully help with this. 
  • Taking more rest days. As I've mentioned before, rest days and I DO NOT mix. I hate them (actually Ed hates them), but I know I need them in order to get stronger and I know my body appreciates the break :)
These will keep me busy, as they are far from easy in my book...

Okay so on a totally different note, I had acupuncture this past Wednesday and man, was I glad I went! Sometimes I dread going because I don't necessarily enjoy getting poked with needles, but on with my story. 
Nothing exciting happened until he took my pulse and then preceded with saying how my "kidney pulse" (keep in mind this is Chinese medicine) was very strong. This is a good thing, he said because the kidney's are the bodies form of "willpower". So this means that I have very strong willpower and strength. He went on to say that this can be both good and bad and at the moment I am using this in a "bad" way. I use my strong willpower to restrict and deprive my body of daily needs. It's not hard for me to say, "oh no Tay you can't have that slice of cake, because you'll get fat." So in order to make use of this awesome trait, I need to start using my willpower to fight against those voices and Ed. It was kinda cool to hear someone else tell you this stuff because it's so true and it really hit home for me. If I'm so good with willpower, then I should be able to use it in order to recover right? I hope so. The last thing he said that totally made my night was that I was both "sensitive and strong" which is a "perfect combination". 

Have you ever tried acupuncture? It's definitely made a huge difference for me!

Song I'm currently loving to workout to!! 

Wow, really sorry I don't have any photos time!


  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm glad you're setting goals (and rest days are SOOOO important - when I was working on gaining weight, rest days were every day!) but the 'epic water' goal worries me a little. That can be very dangerous and super-counter productive! Also, if you're low on nutrients that can flush what you have out and leave you with imbalances (not to mention stress your heart). Needless to say, dehydration is no good, either. Try to drink more, but nutritious stuff - fruit juice, vegetable juice (for when you're too tired to fight Ed that hard), milks (dairy and non-dairy), Ensure Plus and the like, etc. Good luck, girl!

    1. I love your blog!! Thanks for the good information, I' ll definitely be taking your suggestions and make sure to balance the water intake. I don't want my body losing precious nutrients!

  2. girllll i'm proud of you too!! awesome steps. keep it up :)

  3. You're making such great progress,Tara - I am really proud of you! :)
    I especially admire you for being able to not let your stomach issues affect your eating. I'm suffering from major stomach/gas issues,too,almost EVERY day,and they make eating a lot harder indeed! :(
    Anyhow,keep it up & have a wonderful weekend! <3

    1. Thank you! Stomach issues suck don't they, makes everything harder :/

      Have a great weekend as well :)

  4. i've heard good things about acupuncture but it totally creeps me out! i'm glad you enjoy it though! i hope your stomach feels better soon :( definitely one of the most miserable parts of recovery is having to deal with all the physical discomfort. hang in there <3

    1. Thanks Rachel, I love your blog! Stay strong<3

  5. I only just found your blog, but wow - you are incredibly strong to tell your story! If you think you are not, then you are so wrong. Congrats on not body checking - that is such a massive accomplishment! I can't help it, it is one of my worst habits. You seem to be doing so well, so congrats!

    1. Thank you! Yeah, body checking is what gets me and it's still hard but I'm getting there. Thanks for stopping by my blog<3