started reading "life without ed" by jenni schaefer and i love it so far.
some things from it struck me deep and i had to write them down. i adapted them for my situation.
Ed's Lies: LIES
1) if i just keep my weight low enough i can be in complete control of my life.(of course the complete opposite is true!)
2) if i am small enough i can be everything that everyone wants. (again, the opposite is true)
3) if i do not take up space then i won't get in anyone's way. (ed is taking up everyone's space!)
4) everyone will like me. (i am boring now)
5) ed makes me special and without him i am nothing. (i am so much more without him!)
6) ed will make me perfect. (i will never be perfect and that is just fine!)
jenni talks a lot about the ultimate goal when fighting against ed:
DISAGREE WITH AND DISOBEY ED.
so i came up with some small daily goals in order to achieve this bigger goal:
1) focus on separating ed's voice from my heart voice.
2) write down conversations with ed when they come up and are hard to deal with.
these seem like reasonable things i can focus on throughout each day. :)