Monday, January 16, 2012
i just go back from driving ben to syracuse...i finally made up my mind and decided not to go back with him. it was hard saying goodbye though. i tried to make it quick and painless. i didn't want him to see me cry so i held it in until probably two seconds after he turned to walk away. i drove off bawling. in order to counteract the sadness i turned the radio on high and blasted nickleback songs for about an hour. it helped. now that i'm home, i'm wishing i was still in his arms, but what i'm really wishing is that he is here with me instead. i feel incredibly weak that i can't even go a minute without him...i'm sad.