Monday, January 23, 2012
i had a reality check this weekend and i need to change or else i'll probably end up back in the hospital or some treatment center. i don't want to be this way anymore. i don't want to live like this anymore. i want to be free. i want to have kids when the time is right and if i don't change soon, my future may be dim. so i'm making small changes...starting small is always a good idea. the hardest part is obviously fighting ed's voice and being true to my heart voice. i see ed as a grey evil thing inside me that takes away everything from me. he takes my freedom and my relationships and my self-love. every time i feel his pull i need to picture myself strangling him til he dies. i want ed to die. not me.