She'll Be Free

I keep failing every time I try to eat normally. It's so frustrating. Since all my thoughts revolve around food and what I am going to eat next, I end up eating all of my allowed calories before 2pm. I never let myself get hungry, until, of course it gets to be 7pm and I'm starving, but won't let myself eat because I've already used my calorie allowance for the day. It's a vicious cycle and feels almost impossible to stop. 
All the books I read and articles about eating healthfully tell me to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. To listen to my body. This gets frustrating because I no longer have the ability to tell when my body is hungry or when it is full. I only feel hungry at night, but I can never tell when I'm full. This tactic scares me as well because I fear if I let myself just "feel" when I'm full, I'll just keep eating and eating and won't ever stop. I feel like I would never feel full.
I think the hardest part about going about this challenge is that I think about food all the time. It's kinda hard to go throughout the day without thinking about food when it's all I think about.
For the next couple of days, I am going to try my absolute best that I can to feel my hunger and see what happens, and maybe I won't be ready for this mindful eating strategy yet. Maybe I have to relearn and regain my ability to listen to my body in order to be ready. We'll see, but I'm gonna try to stay as positive as I can and not be too hard on myself if I slip up once or twice. I have to remember that it's not going to be overnight and that this kind of thing takes time and hard work. I know I am capable of it.