Control

The other day while I was at the gym, I realized something that made me think. There was this trainer lady working with a guy while I was biking and I couldn't help but notice how obnoxious she was. She came across as over confident and full of herself and way too happy. I then found myself making myself feel better by comparing her body to mine saying how, well at least I was smaller and at least my thighs weren't as big and so on. I realized that I do this when I feel less than someone else; I don't think I'm as good as them in terms of personality so I turn to the body to feel better than them. It's control for me. I feel like I'm in control of myself and others by being thinner than them, like I can at least be smaller than them if not anything else. It's really messed up but it makes sense to me.