She'll Be Free

i wish i could put all the quotes and sayings and articles i read together into my brain and make them change me but it's always easier said than done and i know this the best because i have been trying to do this for over five years...i think it will be six years soon...wow that is a lot of fucking time...why am i wasting my life with this stupid disease? what a good question! i wish i could just let everything go but when i tried to do this i gained weight and then i hated myself more so it looks like i'll never win....sometimes i don't even know what to do anymore...