It's funny when I make a goal because it usually doesn't last very long before I change my mind. What happens is that I have a goal and then something freaks me out or I end up reading too much and end up talking myself out of it. I tend to get caught up in all of the information out there and become paralysis by analysis.
I read and I read and after a while everything seems to contradict itself and then I get confused and force myself to take a reality check and simplify myself.
It happens with everything, but the most common is information about weight lifting. I want to try everything and do everything that every book or article says but there is so much freakin' stuff out there that it just becomes a jumbled mess of chaos. One article says to do this and another says not to do that, but to do this instead so no wonder this happens. Especially if you're like me and have a type A personality.
Anywho, getting off topic. I wanted to discuss my new long term goal. It's kind of something I've been working on for a long-ass time but never really gave it 100%.
Goal: build muscle and strength in order to compete in a powerlifting competition.
It's a pretty big goal yeah, but I am motivated and I have a plan to stick with it, even when I get sweeped away by all the people contradicting it.
I know that I want to do this because it's a goal not only about strength and looking a certain way but it's about mental strength and being able to push myself. The thing I like about a powerlifting competition compared to other competitions is the fact that it's not really about beating someone else, it's more about beating yourself and pushing yourself.
So, since stating my goal I have already had issues. Almost every article about fitness or health that I read is about how to lose weight and how to burn fat, stay lean, etc. so it's extremely hard to go against all that and do the opposite. I want to gain weight, gain muscle, eat more, etc. Because I know that if I don't, my goal will go out the window like all the others.
I was thinking the other day about how I could avoid having these fat loss articles get to me which will eventually sway me from my task and I wrote down some things that I will need to give up.
Things I have to give up in order to reach my goal:
1. visable abs
2. my fear of fat
3. my fear of my body changing
4. fear of eating too much
5. people's thoughts
6. fear that I won't be able to stay lean
7. my ideal of a perfect body
8. my need for "quick fixes"
9. my idea that I want it to happen overnight
So yeah there are a lot of things going on there. A lot of things I need to let go of and most of them have to do with my body in some way or the other. My main problem is that I fear that I'll get fat. I fear that I won't be able to see my muscle and instead I'll just look gross. However, I do know this won't be possible because I don't eat crap. I would say I eat abnormally "clean" and the right amount, but I also know that I need to up this amount in order to gain.
So anyways, this is what I'll be working on for the next months, years...who knows. I don't really have a goal date in mind because I don't know how long it's going to take to get some decent muscle, but I do know that I want to compete and I will.
My plan for this week is to up my calories by 200 and reassess on Friday and see where I am and see what needs to be changed. My plan for my workouts isn't changing much, I'm lifting heavy and having fun and that's what counts the most.
So wish me luck!