Hey beautifuls!
This past week has been full of as much up and downs as you could possibly get.
A few updates...
1.) I joined The Libero Network and will be writing for them as well as on this blog. If you haven't checked out their website, it's great. They specialize in blog posts from writers on eating disorders, depression, and other addictions. You can check out my personal page here.
2.) Ben and I went for a 10.5 mile hike yesterday and we are completely dead now. We had planned on maybe 7 miles or so but decided to catch up with his Dad so we headed down on a different trail instead which increased the miles. We were dragging by the end, but it was so worth it and we had a really great time!
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| Us on the top. |
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| East Balpate Mountain, ME |
3.) Today I woke up and felt so freakin' gross, I didn't want to do anything at all. I tried my best to not let the feelings get to me but it was so overwhelming. I took a shower and that helped, but what really helped was an article I came across on Meg's blog from Sable at Squat Like A Lady. It was exactly what I needed to read and it made me feel so much better.
4.) I read another article from Kat at A Dash Of Fairy Dust. It was all about recovery and it just made sense to me and kind of kicked me in the butt, which was something I needed.
5.) I made Ben and I dinner the other night and I actually succeeded! I made sweet and sour pork with a carrot and garlic stir fry. It turned out to be amazing!
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| Hot Coco for desert? Yes please! |
6.) To be honest, since picking up Ben on Tuesday, eating has been going downhill slowly...I feel like I have lost motivation to keep my calories up. I know it has a lot to do with comparing myself to Ben and what he's eating, but I know I can't use that as an excuse. I haven't worked out for almost a full week now and it's really getting to me, which is also having a huge effect on my eating. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I still need calories even though I am not moving my body. Grr. Need to kick my butt back into action very soon.
7.) Ben and I had an interesting talk the other night about my eating. He was upset that Ed was always around and that I wasn't doing as well as he hoped...I asked him how he saw me without Ed and what he said hit me hard. "You wouldn't worry about stuff and we could just do things without thinking about food." Durr. I wish I could do that and I guess I thought maybe I was almost there, but nope. What was I thinking? I am so far away from being where I want to be, but thinking about it like that only makes things worse. Stay positive Tay.
8.) My favorite song for this week. It helps me to remember that yes, a better life is coming.
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| Keith Urban-Better Life |
Hope you all had a wonderful day!
I am seriously so glad you liked my post =)
ReplyDeleteIt's not something I talk about a WHOLE lot because it's so far behind me now, but from ages ~15-17 I was anorexic. I got down to 83lbs (probably below that, but that's the last time I let the doctor weigh me) - so I can relate to a lot of what you've written here <3 Things do get better and it does get easier, and having a great support person is a HUGE part of it =) You can and will get through this. Just take it one little day at a time <3
Hang in there! I know it is tough but things do get better and a whole lot easier. Your body is probably asking for this break so take time to reward yourself for it. Support always helps so keep them close! have a wonderful day!
ReplyDelete10.5 mile hike?!? nice!
ReplyDeletesorry it's been such a roller coaster of a week but you'll get through it! you're so much stronger than you will ever imagine :)