I had a rough day today so I wrote this to myself...
Do you want to be strong and athletic and look like a women or weak and fragile with the body of a twelve year old boy? Come one Tay, stop the bullshit. You know what you need and want. Don't let Ed tell you what you should be. He's the one who is messing with you. I know you love who you are and that you love your body. You've got to start acting like it. I know you know that you want to look and be strong. Ed wants you to look like your dying, is that what you want? Do you want to look like a skeleton? Do you want to be irritable and depressed all the time? Do you want to just drag your way through life? Do you actually want to have energy? Do you want to have kids one day? Ed will keep you from doing this. You know this. Yes, there will be days where you'll feel gross but you have to suck it up. It will be worth it. Think about the babies you want to have. If you listen to Ed, there will be no kids in your future, guaranteed. If you listen to Ed, you will die. You only get so many second chances, Tay. There may not be any more. Remember what you want to achieve in your life. Ed won't get you there. Winning at Ed means losing at life. Don't let Ed rob you of your dreams, as we both know how important they are to you. Nourish yourself for your future children. Nourish yourself for Ben. Nourish yourself for you. Remember, it will be worth it. You have come so far. Do not turn back now. Fight.
Do you want to be strong and athletic and look like a women or weak and fragile with the body of a twelve year old boy? Come one Tay, stop the bullshit. You know what you need and want. Don't let Ed tell you what you should be. He's the one who is messing with you. I know you love who you are and that you love your body. You've got to start acting like it. I know you know that you want to look and be strong. Ed wants you to look like your dying, is that what you want? Do you want to look like a skeleton? Do you want to be irritable and depressed all the time? Do you want to just drag your way through life? Do you actually want to have energy? Do you want to have kids one day? Ed will keep you from doing this. You know this. Yes, there will be days where you'll feel gross but you have to suck it up. It will be worth it. Think about the babies you want to have. If you listen to Ed, there will be no kids in your future, guaranteed. If you listen to Ed, you will die. You only get so many second chances, Tay. There may not be any more. Remember what you want to achieve in your life. Ed won't get you there. Winning at Ed means losing at life. Don't let Ed rob you of your dreams, as we both know how important they are to you. Nourish yourself for your future children. Nourish yourself for Ben. Nourish yourself for you. Remember, it will be worth it. You have come so far. Do not turn back now. Fight.
i REALLY love this letter. i hope you will read this to yourself as often as you need to become an even stronger warrior against the ed <3
ReplyDeleteThanks and yes that is what I hope to do as well<3
DeleteI am so inspired by you right now. I had no idea. Thanks for being so beautifully transparent. Ed is a liar who comes to steal, kill and destroy. The more you expose him, the more you win. You are God's precious treasure, wonderfully and fearfully made and desperately loved (http://www.fathersloveletter.com/text.html) Way to go Tay. I'm so proud of you for refusing to believe the lies. Love you girl!!
ReplyDeleteAww thanks, this means a lot to me<3
Deleteamazing letter. keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteWhat a fantastic/amazing letter... it's writing stuff like this that helps during this process!
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly!
DeleteLove it. Writing is one of the best recovery tools!
ReplyDeleteYes, agreed!
DeleteI love it, Tayla. I can feel your force of beauty radiate through each and every one of your words. Your future children are so lucky to have a role model like you :)
ReplyDelete-Anna
Aw thank you! That means a lot to me :)
ReplyDelete